Say This Instead › Waiting Their Turn

What to say when your toddler can't wait their turn

For when they struggle with patience and waiting

🗣 Say this
"It's not your turn yet. You're next. Let's count how many more goes or let's watch her finish."
⏱ What to do
1
Make the wait visible and concrete: a timer, counting or watching
2
Stay close during the wait. Don't walk away
3
Narrate the other person's turn: 'She's nearly done, then it's you'
4
Acknowledge how hard waiting is. It genuinely is hard for them
5
Celebrate when they manage it, even imperfectly
⚠️ Avoid
❌Expecting them to wait silently without support
❌Punishing them for struggling. Impulse control is still developing
❌Letting them skip the queue to keep the peace
❌Minimising how hard it feels
🔁 If they resist
"Still waiting. Nearly there. You're doing really well."
→Narrate the progress. Give them something to hold onto
💡 Pro tip
Make the wait visible. Abstract waiting is hardest
Instead of
"Just WAIT. It's not your turn yet. Stop asking!"
Try
"You're next. Watch, when she gets off, you jump on."

Common questions

What should I say when my toddler can't wait their turn?
Say: "It's not your turn yet. You're next. Let's count how many more goes or let's watch her finish." Make the wait visible and concrete. Stay close. Narrate the progress toward their turn.
Why can't my toddler wait their turn?
The part of the brain that manages impulse control and delayed gratification is still developing, and will continue developing well into the twenties. Toddlers feel the want intensely and have very limited ability to choose to wait. It genuinely is hard for them.
How do I teach my toddler to wait their turn?
Make waiting concrete: use a timer, count together, narrate the other child's turn. Stay close and coach rather than expecting them to manage alone. Celebrate any successful waiting, even brief. The skill builds incrementally with support.
At what age do toddlers learn to wait their turn?
Most children can manage brief, supported waits by 2 to 3 years, and more independent waiting by 4 to 5. The ability improves significantly with language development, which gives them tools to manage frustration. Support matters more than age.

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