🗣 Say this
"I won't let you hit. Hitting hurts."
⏱ What to do
1
Block or gently hold their hands
3
Keep your body between them and others if needed
4
Reconnect warmly once they're calm
⚠️ Avoid
❌Yelling or hitting back
❌Long explanations in the heat of the moment
❌Ignoring it completely
🔁 If they do it again
"Hands are not for hitting. If you're angry, you can stomp your feet or say 'I'm mad'."
→Stay close, speak quietly, keep your body relaxed
💡 Pro tip
"Stay physically calm and neutral. Your reaction teaches what's acceptable."
Instead of
Trying to talk them through it in the moment
Try
Focus on stopping the behaviour first, then talk once they're calm
Common questions
What should I say when my toddler hits me?
Say calmly and firmly: "I won't let you hit. Hitting hurts." Keep it short. Toddlers can't process long explanations when they're dysregulated. Focus on stopping the behaviour first, then reconnect and talk once they're calm.
Why does my toddler keep hitting?
Toddlers hit because they lack the language and emotional regulation skills to express big feelings. Hitting is communication. It usually means they're frustrated or overwhelmed. It's developmental, not deliberate, and it does get better with consistent, calm responses.
Should I hit my toddler back to show them how it feels?
No. This teaches them that hitting is an acceptable response to frustration, the opposite of what you want. It also damages trust. Stay calm, state the boundary briefly, and model the behaviour you want to see from them.
How do I stop my toddler from hitting?
Consistency is everything. Every time they hit: physically intervene calmly, say the boundary once, stay neutral, and reconnect warmly after. Hitting reduces when it doesn't produce a big reaction and there's a clear, predictable response every single time.